Play, Safety, and Confidence: Wisdom from the Animals I Care For
- rachel stokes
- Oct 1
- 4 min read
Why play is essential for nervous system regulation, confidence, and connection.
Watching animals has shown me that play is not something to be earned or justified—it’s a requirement for well-being.
In more ways than one, being around animals has been essential for my physical and mental wellbeing. You see, I have a very sensitive nervous system that went on far too long without regulation. I didn’t know it yet, but when the universe aligned me with taking care of animals as a profession, I hadn’t yet realized the abundance of love and wisdom animals held in their little paws. Over the years as a caretaker, they’ve shown me the power of lightness and playfulness on the nervous system. Though my resistance to playfulness has been in full force until recently, play has been one of the most potent aspects of grounding, moving me out of fear and survival and into peace and clarity.
Finding Ground Through Their Play
What I’ve come to understand is that play isn’t just something extra—it’s biologically essential for both humans and animals. During my resistance, this was difficult for me to conceptualize. But as I leaned into somatic practices to regulate the nervous system, which was often while caring for my clients’ animals, I started to notice that animals model play as a form of staying connected, peaceful, and full of life. This is important, as I’ve mentioned in my previous posts about animals and the nervous system: animals don’t have the part of the brain humans do to come up with stories for why we think we need to do things. Because animals are so vulnerable and authentic in life, their teachings are pure and easy to trust. So why exactly does play
matter when it comes to feeling connection and liveliness?
Why Play Matters
According to polyvagal theory research—basically the study of our nervous system and its natural relationship to felt safety—play activates the main nerve associated with openness, trust, and connection: the ventral (front) vagus nerve. This is important to a body that’s been in a chronic state of fight/flight/freeze/fawn. Essentially, like somatic exercises, resourcing, and reorientation, the body registers play as a safety cue, shifting us into regulation.
What I noticed within myself as I opened to play was that it's essentially just helping your nervous system reorient to the present moment. This makes sense, as animals often play—not to get or achieve anything—but as a natural part of grounding and reconnecting to life. Animals tend to not expend energy on something unless it satisfies their nervous system in some way. They often don’t have ulterior motives, stories, schemes, or plans.
Dogs roughhouse. Cats pounce. Horses run and buck for joy. Play isn’t just frivolous—it’s how animals discharge stress and reconnect with each other.
What I’ve discovered is that when I allow myself to play—whether with animals or in my own way—it resets me just as it does them. Play reminds us we are safe, and from that safety, a deeper confidence and connection naturally emerge. This is what brings me to how it translates into our daily lives, with our pets and with ourselves…
Bringing Play Into Our Lives
Watching animals has shown me that play is not something to be earned or justified—it’s a requirement for well-being. Play isn’t at all what I associated it with previously, which was wasting time. Far from it. Play is absolutely vital in creating confidence, remembering the feeling of trust, and honestly remembering who you are when you’re not hypnotized by fear.
Looking for a certain color throughout the day, making up stories about cloud shapes, even dancing to a song you love are quick and easy ways you can try this out for yourself. I also recommend resourcing ChatGPT to combine what you like with how you’d like to incorporate play. For example, I feel connected to gnomes and fairies, so ChatGPT and I created a 7-day play menu that incorporated this connection—and it was so fun, creative, and easy! A wonderful way to get out of your own way.
Laughing at an Instagram post your friend sent you, tossing a ball with a dog, making up a silly song, or dancing around the kitchen—these can really assist even the freakiest of control freaks (trust me, I would know).
When your body feels safe, you don’t have to force confidence—it arises naturally. Animals remind us that confidence is not performance, it’s presence. Everything I learn from them just goes right back into my caretaking practice. This work is anything but one-sided. At Good Love, I see play as more than enrichment—it’s one of the most powerful ways animals regulate, and one of the greatest teachings they offer us as humans.
So the next time your animal invites you into play, notice what shifts in your body. They may be reminding you of the simplest path back to connection, safety, and joy.
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